Last
night after a delicious dinner that Jim made us, I had a hankering for ice
cream. It had already been a long week, and I felt like, I deserve a treat! I
deserve to have some fun before the Board Meeting! So, Jim and I went to the
Sweet Shoppe and got in line for ice cream. But by the time we got to the front
of the line I realized that I was still really full from dinner. I still really
wanted that ice cream – it is so rare to have this chance to spontaneously go
out – and I had to really stop myself and breathe for a moment before being
able to let go of the urge to order it any way.
Instead,
Jim and I just sat outside on a bench with no ice cream and had a lovely
conversation. That simple joy of sitting
on a bench with my husband on a summer evening is still with me, whereas the
ice cream, if I had had it, would be long forgotten by now – or perhaps all I
would have is a stomachache as a memory.
I
do have to admit, that when facing a choice like that, I don’t always make the
right choice. But the consequences are pretty small. This week’s Torah portion is about bigger
choices – between the blessing and the curse.
God
says – “See, this day I set before you blessing and curse: blessing, if you
obey the commandments of the Lord your God…and curse, if you do not obey the
commandments…and follow other gods whom you have not experienced.” (Deut.
11:26-28)
In
the context of the Torah, God is warning the Israelites that they will be
blessed if they stick with their God – whom they cannot see or touch or taste,
and that they will be cursed if they stray after the shiny new gods they will
encounter once they cross over into the Promised Land. These gods that the
other peoples are worshiping in ways they hadn’t experienced.
So
– what does this mean for us? We who aren’t really at a risk for straying off
to worship idols?
I
think this parasha is asking us to contemplate what brings blessings to our
lives and what brings curses. For us, and for the Israelites as well, these
idols represent the spiritual trap we can fall into of allowing ourselves to be
controlled by our desires for what will make us feel good in the short term –
that urge to choose immediate gratification - over setting our sights on what will bring
lasting joy and true blessing.
An
indulgence I have been enjoying lately is the newly released 3rd
season of the Netflix series, “Orange is the New Black.” It’s about inmates in
a women’s prison. (spoiler alert!) This week I saw the episode where an inmate
named Daya, who is pregnant and unmarried, is agonizing over the choice of
whether to give her baby up for adoption by a wealthy family or to keep the
child and raise it in what is likely to be a life of poverty once she is
released.
Daya’s
own mother Aleida is actually in prison with her –Aleida who herself gave birth
to Daya out of wedlock and raised her in poverty. Aleida is pushing Daya to
give up the baby. She feels guilty for having raised Daya with nothing and
believes that this is the reason why she turned to a life of crime and landed
in prison. She wants Daya to give her child the chance that she couldn’t give
to her.
Daya
reminds her mother of one of the happiest moments in her life - when her mother
had some extra cash and took her to get her nails done for her 17th birthday –
Aleida thinks that Daya remembers this moment because she finally had the money to get a manicure and have some fun.
But
Daya says to her mother “All I ever wanted was for you to spend time with me.”
In his book Notes on an Unhurried
Journey,
the author John Taylor writes:
“It is not difficult to bring fun into our
lives, but it is a life-long task to find joy.”
“Fun can be bought. . . But the cycle of fun
is short. There is a sadness in the air when the game is over. . . It really
doesn’t take long for the new car to become only transportation or the clothes
to become unfashionable. Fun arrives, contributes its brief sensation, and
leaves.
“Joy, however, is something else. More than a
product of money, it is a product of effort, time and sacrifice. Paradoxically,
it is both sought after and waited for. It is the goal of labor and stillness.
It abides at birth and death. Joy is pried from the great stones of existence.
It is the result of long hours, hours which include both frustration and
despair. Joy often arrives at the end of a long, exhaustive effort, and
occasionally it surprises us in the midst of effort.
“Fun is escape which we all need; joy is
fulfillment which we all seek. Fun is exciting, but joy is life. What a pity it
would be if, in our quest for fun, we missed joy.”
I
think it’s intentional that this parasha which begins with the choice of
blessing over curse, ends with the commandments to celebrate the festivals.
Our
people are instructed that three times a year, on the festivals
of Shavuot, Passover and Shavuot, they are to
converge
at the Temple in Jerusalem. They are to come from wherever they are dispersed bringing gifts of thanks –the first fruits of their soil,
grain, and
first-born animals of their flocks. And they are commanded to rejoice
together in this place.
Imagine
working all year round to plant, tend and harvest crops. Imagine the anxiety of
the farmer, depending on the rainfall for a good harvest; the hard physical
labor of caring for animals and fields. While there may be moments of enjoyment
and fun, life is mostly about hard work,
dedication, and anxiety – not so
different from our lives today….
And
then when the work is done, and you have some first fruits or a first-born cow,
you’re not allowed to hoard it and eat it by yourself. Instead, you are
commanded to schlep it all the way to Jerusalem where you sacrifice part of it
at the Temple, and you get to feast on the rest, with your family and your
community.
The
whole people of Israel gathers together to rejoice. Imagine the deep feeling of
satisfaction, the sense of closeness with the community, and with God. Imagine
how when the people gather, they take note of the new babies that have been
born, and they remember those who were there last year to celebrate but who are
now gone. Imagine the conversations during and after festive meals – the
catching up and sharing of news, the story telling.
This
is the cleaving to God and the commandments.
This
is the choice to worship the God we cannot see.
This
is the choice to forgo those new shiny gods of immediate gratification.
This
is the blessing.
This
is the joy.
